Today, my wallet was stolen from me at the casino. That made me mad. Then, when I got home, I made friends with this girl I met at a coffee shop the other day. That made me happy. I guess my mood has evened out. Wait. Tine's talking to me, also making me happy. Happiness prevails! Also, I am very tired and making very little sense. And, unfortunately for everyone around me, I think I'm funny, so I'll never shut up and I'll keep using bigger and bigger words and sentences until I, or those surrounding me, explode.
Current Mood: Eh?
Current Music: Portishead, "Glory Box"
Every day, I want to kick the PlayStation 3 in the face more than I did the day before!!! Yesterday I didn't think I could be more violent toward it, but today proved me wrong. SONY IS RUINING MY LIFE!!!
More at 7:00 PM, Central Standard Time.
You know how sometimes you kinda want to die, but you really don't care enough to actually make it happen? When you're too apathetic to make your life better and you're too comfortable to end it? When you hope that every bridge you drive under or over will collapse at just the right moment, that gas station you go to will explode, that every bolt of lightning will end up on you? I feel like that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, by any means. I just wouldn't try too hard to avoid deadly accidents. I just want one thing in my life to go right, instead of all my efforts implodinbg on themselves.. I want to feel like I'm making a difference in just one person's life, instead of feeling like a burden. I want to live, at least once before I die...
So isn't it kind of ironic that I'm anticipating death so anxiously?
Geez... And people wonder why I'm so pessimistic all the time. If anybody even had the tiniest glimpse of what goes on inside my head, they'd probably end up just like me. They'd be writing terrible goth poetry and crying themselves to sleep while listening to Muse and waking up at 1:30 in the afternoon with a crippling migraine because even the dreams are too stressful to manage. Someone needs to find me a free psychologist with alot of time on their hands. Either that or something that I can stab a whole lot to work off all the aggression. And the worst part of all this? No one knows. I act like I've got it all together. I act like I don't sleep in my car because I don't have a place to live. I act like I'm content, when inside I'm tearing myself apart because of all the things I need but will never be able to get.
Damn... I need a sugar-momma. That'd solve all of my problems. For her own sake, though, she'd probably need to be deaf.
Current Mood: Angsty
Current Music: Sugarcult, "Stuck In America"
Today I went to "Art Fest" in Grand Forks with my family, and my mom walked off without me. I couldn't find her (and naturally her money) for FOUR HOURS!!!! As such, I am too bitter due to lack of funnel cake to write more today. I hate my new sugar-free life.
Current Mood: Certainly not a sugar high
Current Music: Mindless Self Indulgence, "Backmask Warning"
Sorry I haven't updated in awhile (as if anyone really noticed or cared), but I've been in the process of moving. If you don't believe me, take a look at my newly updated personal profile. Yeah, that's right. I live in the immortal town of Fargo now. The town made famous by my favorite writer/director team of two brothers (frankly, the only team of that particular type that I can think of). Also, I've been spending the last couple of weeks being extremely depressed and self-pitying, and I really hate blogging when I'm like that. It always just ends up with me whining a whole lot about things that don't even friggin' matter. I don't need Mindsay as a medium for allowing total strangers to know how I feel about my father, or my inability to do well in school, or my total lack of suavete in relationships. I need Mindsay as a medium for allowing total strangers to see how clever I am. And that's exactly what I'm going to do...
Just as soon as I think of something clever...
Current Mood: Uninspired and lonely
Current Music: Thursday, "At This Velocity"
